By Melissa Coats, LPC
True Connection Tuesday
Welcome all to the first True Connection Tuesday! I decided to start with the most important relationship you will ever have in your life…the one with yourself!
A couple of years ago I started my self-care/love/compassion journey, and let me tell you, it has not been easy. I can’t pinpoint the exact day, but I remember thinking to myself “I am the only person in my life who will EVER have to spend EVERY single second of my life with me.” No one else on Earth will spend as much time with me as I do with myself. Wow.
This was a scary thought for me at first. I realized that I worked so hard making sure others in my life were taken care of, but that I did not have nearly as of a good relationship with the person I spend the most time with (me) as I did with others. Ouch.
I am a HUGE Bruce Springsteen fan and one of my favorite lyrics of his goes like this:
“It’s a sad man, my friend, who is living in his own skin, and can’t stand the company.”
Wow, did that describe me. I also hear that it describes so many others I come in contact with. The relationship with ourselves is one of the most neglected relationships we will every have. It is time to change that. Here are a couple of things that have helped me.
1. Don’t go straight for self-love, it won’t work. If you try to go from constantly getting down on yourself to trying to believe you are absolutely amazing all the time, you are going to get emotional whiplash. You will get overwhelmed and discouraged and most likely you will give up. Slow and steady, one foot in front of the other is the pace for true change in this relationship.
2. Consider what it would be like if you had a friend following you around 24/7 saying the things you say to yourself? Would you keep that friend around? Me neither! Instead, what would you say to your friend. Look at yourself in the mirror as a friend and say that to you. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but you got this!
3. Make a list of all the accomplishments in your life. Sit down for 5 minutes. Don’t stop writing. Even if you have had help with those accomplishments, write them down anyway. You may start to realize how awesome you are!
4. Positive affirmations. Even if you don’t believe them right away, hearing yourself validate and affirm yourself OUT LOUD is a powerful tool. Download the app “I Am” if you have a hard time coming up with affirmations yourself.
You are worthy of an amazing relationship with yourself! Thanks for joining me on the first True Connection Tuesday and feel free to contact me if there is a specific topic you want to hear about!