Your responsibility to yourself

By Melissa Coats - True Connection Tuesday

​I’ve been noticing a theme in my posts recently on TCT…they've been about the relationship with oneself! I promise I will discuss other topics. But this being the holiday season, in a pandemic, I feel it is critical to tend to our own needs as we continue to navigate this challenging year.

So…here it goes! My question for you is, what is your responsibility to yourself? Many of us have been wired to constantly think of others first. We put family, partners, friends, traditions, plans we agreed to but didn’t want to, children, work, and just about everything else under the sun before us. That is a lot of energy that is spent outward! What would happen if we turned some of that energy inward?

​The subconscious question that we answer all the time through our actions is, “What is my responsibility to others?”. It’s a good question! Imagine if everyone only thought about themselves. Not a good scenario! But that doesn’t mean that we should completely ignore the question of the responsibility to ourselves.
What is your responsibility to yourself?

Here are some ways you can explore that question:

• Journal – write for 5 minutes on this topic without stopping…just keep writing!
• Morning check-in – What do I need today? What do I want out of today? (It’s ok if you don’t know, getting in the habit of checking-in with yourself is the first goal, knowing what you need will come later)
• Talk it out – ask your friends, support systems how they take care of themselves and their own needs. Ask them how they figure out their needs.
• Talk it out with a professional – go to therapy!
• Notice your frustration and resentment – when we get frustrated or feel resentful, it is usually a good sign that a need we have is not getting met at that moment
• Notice when you feel content and happy – those are usually good signs that needs are getting met!

Repeat after me: I am allowed to value my needs and desires and make space for them in my life!

Now repeat it out loud.

So if you are looking for permission to:

• Set boundaries with family
• Say no
• Take a break from tradition
• Honor your own desires
• Not participate
• Order catering
• Etc…

this holiday season, this is it! You don’t have to spend so much energy outward. You are worth your own energy!

Truly grateful,

Melissa