By Melissa Coats - True Connection Tuesday

​I’ve been noticing a theme in my posts recently on TCT…they've been about the relationship with oneself! I promise I will discuss other topics. But this being the holiday season, in a pandemic, I feel it is critical to tend to our own needs as we continue to navigate this challenging year.

So…here it goes! My question for you is, what is your responsibility to yourself? Many of us have been wired to constantly think of others first. We put family, partners, friends, traditions, plans we agreed to but didn’t want to, children, work, and just about everything else under the sun before us. That is a lot of energy that is spent outward! What would happen if we turned some of that energy inward?

By Melissa Coats - True Connection Tuesday

Allow me to set a scene for you. I’m standing looking at my partner, who has known me for YEARS, and I have a distinct look of awe on my face as we go for the third round in an argument that has moved from one floor of the house and back again twice. “He doesn’t care or understand at all!” is the thought. The hurt and disbelief are so powerful that I can literally not understand how this person who has known me forever doesn’t comprehend my perspective and why I am upset.

Sound familiar?​

I think it is fair to say that you are not alone. Recently, as we enter the holiday season, still trying to manage challenges from the pandemic, I have heard more and more couples struggling with feeling misunderstood by their partner. First of all, in a “normal” year, the holidays stir up plenty of disagreements on family, boundaries, how to spend your time, money, stress…you name it. This year, we have feelings about politics and pandemics to contend with, among so many other things.

By Melissa Coats
​True Connection Tuesday

One of the most important aspects of a healthy and fulfilling relationship is boundaries. And boundaries are challenging at any time of the year, but they are incredibly challenging during the holiday season. Many times, the “shoulds” take over, and we start to feel guilty for saying no to our loving families who, of course, only have the best of intentions in mind. Well, sometimes.

Boundaries help protect our mental and emotional health. Many people were raised to put other’s needs before their own. However, when you continually move your needs to the back burner, you suffer, and you don’t get to connect with others in a fulfilling and energy-boosting way. Instead, it can feel like a chore. The holidays are no exception!

 By Melissa Coats, LPC 
True Connection Tuesday

​Welcome all to the first True Connection Tuesday! I decided to start with the most important relationship you will ever have in your life…the one with yourself!
 
A couple of years ago I started my self-care/love/compassion journey, and let me tell you, it has not been easy. I can’t pinpoint the exact day, but I remember thinking to myself “I am the only person in my life who will EVER have to spend EVERY single second of my life with me.” No one else on Earth will spend as much time with me as I do with myself. Wow.